Friday, May 14, 2010

Yarn: It's Not Just For Cute Kitten Pictures


5elementknitr is a blog about knitting. But not really. It’s a blog of tales of my current life and memories of my life thus far.

It’s written by a 40 year old woman obsessed with knitting, so you think there’d be more actual knitting content. She’s also an Atheist and likes to have conversations with the door-to-door religious salesmen who come aknockin’. And she likes to make up words like “aknockin’”. She has had a very strange and amazing life which makes for some interesting stories. She recounts them in great detail which can result in some long posts but she always warns you by telling you to get a snack and have a seat. When you see those words, be sure you’re in for a bit of a ride. She tries to keep these long posts to a minimum.

One of the blog’s more popular features are her Military Mondays (which happen only occasionally but always on a Monday) where she recounts her meager 5 years in the Army. She was only in Basic Training for 8 weeks and is still recounting them after having started Military Mondays two years ago. The problem there is that she’s pretty sporadic with them.

Another popular subject is her Alphabet Soup – she starts sometime in January with A is for… then after some time ends with Z is for…, you get the idea. She’s in her third year of this nonsense. It started accidentally three years ago, seemed pretty popular and so she did it again last year and yet again this year. She seems to drag it out longer each year (finishing in March the first year, April the second, and as of the current date (May) hasn’t finished this year); by the year 2012, she expects it to take up her whole year and then the world will end. You’re welcome.

She likes to make sweeping statements that she later recants and has a strange love affair with the fragmented sentence. She writes like she talks so it can get a bit mumbly and incoherent at times. She blames lack of sleep quite a lot but I suspect she’s just full of shit. Like this review – she’s not sure why she started out in first person then switched to third person but it seemed to give it more credibility as an impartial review so she’s giving it a shot.

She can be found at and her (my) name is Ruth!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Concise Submission Guidelines

This is a link to the original and rather more detailed than necessary Submission Guidelines:

~ Original and Rather More Detailed Than Necessary Submission Guidelines ~

You don't need to read that whole huge thing. In a nutshell: reviews should be well-written, and should strike a note of balance and impartiality. A review that is simply a rah-rah publicity piece about how great the blog is is not likely to be approved no matter how well-written it is. But on the flipside - a review riddled with unreadable sentence constructions and atrocious spelling is not likely to be approved no matter how fair and impartial the review is. What we're looking for is a quality piece of criticism.

If that sounds like a fun piece to write, by all means, submit your piece to Review Your Own Blog, via the dedicated e-mail address ReviewYourOwnBlog[at] (as a text e-mail, not an attachment - no other submission methods will be accepted).

There are other good tips and background information in the original, huge whole guideline if you are interested. But it probably should not be necessary.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

If You Don't Have a Great Title, You're Not Alone


I was simply looking through blogs via Blogger, when I happened upon a blog titled "Insert Title Here." My first thought was, "What kind of title is that?" But then, I noticed the blog description included the words "awesome" and "robots," and I was lured in.

Whilst reading, I did find a bit of humor, among other things, but it just seemed like the author was very inexperienced, awkward, and overly-excited about things that most people probably don't get excited about. She, I believe, comes off as nearly crazy and, like I said, very inexperienced. She can be funny, but otherwise, it just seems like she starts out okay, gets good, then either gets really good or really horrible. It can be almost painful.

The pages that are below the header can be humorous, as well as the blog. For example, the author takes things that she was going to say, or write, I should say, and crosses them out - with the line break thing - and then writes what she seems would be a more proper answer.

The author appears to be slowly, but surely, incorporating elements such as photos and quotes into the posts to highlight them, which they do, indeed, do. There isn't much material yet, but I'm sure that this young author will gain practice and experience with blogging. The newer posts can get better or worse or both, but in time we will see. I've got my eye on this author and I will surely keep up with her progress. I wish her the best of luck, for she seems to have some potential, whether it be in comedy or horror. Or both.

Side note: The author has some sort of abnormal fear of zombies and an almost-obsession with random things like Conan O'Brien, bacon, and comparing things that never go together, like horses and drunken-ness.